Friday, July 4, 2008

I'm amazed by how different my life is when I'm at home and when I'm at school. Here I have a job I love, I am surrounded by my peers, and I'm really independent. At home, I have a job that pays more, Cindy is a 20-30 minute car ride away instead of a several-hour plane ride away, and I get to spend time with my family.

The difference I've noticed most lately, however, is the way in which I deal with my problems. They're not really big problems, not when I stop to think about it. I miss my best friend. I have no idea how the Lord will make His plans for me happen. I'm swamped by school. Things like that.

But it's times when those problems seem so big that drive me back to the Lord. I'm glad for these times, the ones that force me to take a step back and ask for God's will instead of my own. It's then that I'm astonished by how deeply He knows me, personally. That He sends a thunderstorm in high desert Idaho to remind me that I am loved. These are the times when I can only be grateful for the dull ache in my heart -- grateful that I have things that I love so much that it hurts when they're gone. Grateful to have experienced them at all, and that there are bound to be even better things around the next bend.