the spoons

A long time ago, Cindy taught me the metaphor of the spoons. It's a pretty neat concept, and pretty handy for Cindy to explain her energy level to people. I use it as a tool in considering my emotional energy. So, I'll explain it to you, too...

Let's say that on a typical morning, you wake up with 10 spoons. The fact that you got up late, and then the traffic that made you even later, takes away 2 spoons. You realize you have waaaay more to do today than you thought and spend your whole morning feeling a little frantic-- that takes away 3. Fortunately, you have a fantastic lunch, and that gives you back 1. The rest of your workday is much better, so it only takes one spoon. So, you go home with 5 spoons to spend on your family for the evening.

Lately, I have woken up with fewer and fewer spoons, largely because I have allowed myself so little sleep. Today I think I woke up with about 4 spoons, compared to my usual 10. This makes me funny and uninhibited, but (as I discovered while on the phone with an uninformed-yet-stubborn customer) leaves me with a short temper and a shorter attention span. By the end of the phone conversation I was ready to throttle the poor lady, and had to work pretty hard not to use my snappy "I refuse to speak to idiots" tone of voice.

I'm not that person, I swear! I am a sweet, composed, funny, generous person...who has been making poor choices with her sleep. Poor choices with my nutrition quickly follow, as do poor choices with my words. Then with my attitude. It's bad news, yo.

Yesterday I went over to Chris's to de-stress a bit, and it was wonderful. At the same time, I recognize today that it doesn't fix the problem; I still need sleep. Furthermore, as one half of a committed relationship, I have a responsibility to take good care of myself so that I have enough spoons to take care of Chris, too, if he needs it.

Or, better yet, if we both have plenty of spoons, we can be joyful and tranquil together. I like the sound of that.