Saturday, December 1, 2012

say wha?

I gave Chris a long look this morning. He was laying on the couch, waiting for me to do a few last minute things before I drove him to the bus stop. I admit, I was dragging my feet a little bit. We'd just had so much fun, making waffles and wrestling and just talking. I didn't want him to go, so the long look was a little sad.

"Hey Chris," I said. "Can I have a hug?"

"Of course." He promptly got up and put his arms around me. 

"You know," my muffled voice came from the direction of his shoulder, "it's too bad you don't like hugs."


I looked up. "What do you mean, 'what?' You think hugs are weird."

"No, I don't."

"Yes you do! We've talked about this before! Because you'd always give hugs to your roommates, because it was funny and weird, and I'd complain that you didn't really give hugs to me."

"Well, that's true. But I like hugs. I like hugs better than kisses even."

"What?? You like hugs even better than kisses?? ...Why?"

"I dunno." Chris laughed. "Haven't you realized by now that I'm not the most in-tune with my emotions?"

Oh, but babe, you don't even know how grateful I am for that sometimes. 

Last night was date night, and it being an even number day, I was "in charge." But it was a slow, headachy day, so when Chris got home I didn't have anything planned. I just knew was excited to see him, and I wanted to do something that would especially fun for him, even if I didn't have much energy. We went out to eat, but after that, we were at a loss. I wanted to know what would make Chris happy, but he just wanted to be doing something. And I started getting frustrated.

Because deep down, I have the maturity of a four-year-old.

I stopped myself from making the problem bigger, though. No snapping or storming off -- I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth, successfully warding off any glares or unkind words. I even tried to take a few deep breaths to calm down, and instead two big, fat tears fell down my cheeks. Ugh.

But Chris just smiled gently. "This is the part where Sara wants to get mad at me, but she doesn't, because she's an awesome wife." Not a smidgen of judgment, nor a hair of impatience. Just an observation, a compliment, and that sweet, loving smile.

That's just his personality. I may get impatient with his mellowness, but he's mellow about my impatience, and I'm so grateful. I really wish it wasn't my first impulse to get upset, or at least that I had some sort of poker face while I was telling myself to get a grip! I'm working on it though, and in the meantime, Chris is totally my inspiration. 

Best. Husband. Ever.

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