Friday, December 23, 2011

just how incredibly blessed I really am

My room is a great place to be.

The closet is the perfect size for me, especially since there's a built-in chest of drawers and a bookshelf. The sliding door was falling off, but since it's a mirror, that was fine; I just moved it to a corner of the room and put my makeup/hair box next to it. 

And then there's the bed. Cue story time...

My house is fully furnished aside from the bedrooms, which meant that when I moved in, I didn't have a bed. I slept on the couch for about a week while I tried to figure out the best solution. In the end, I purchased an air mattress, despite wishing I could be a little more "settled," and feeling like a real bed would certainly help with that feeling.

I discovered, however, that air mattresses don't hold heat the same way a regular mattress does, so I kept getting cold at night. I mentioned it in passing to my roommate Natalie (not to be confused with one of my bffs Natalie, who was my roommate the latter half of college.) She offered to let me borrow the extra blankets that she keeps in her room. This was a blessing all on its own; I slept much better after that.

Last night, though, things got even better.

Natalie's family doesn't live very far away at all, so she's been sleeping at her parents' house this week as part of their Christmas festivities. She dropped in for a few minutes and found me in the kitchen, perched on a barstool and blogging about how I think the Lord needs me to keep accepting charity from other people during this season of my life.

"Sara," she said, "the Lord works in mysterious ways."

"Yes, yes He does! Tell me what happened." We like to tell each other these kinds of stories.

But Natalie slowly shook her head. "Somebody is giving you a bed, Sara. It's in the back of the truck right now. We just need your help bringing it in."

I confess, I stared. Then I slapped my hands to my face. "Wait, WHAT? Tell me the story!"

But there wasn't really a story to tell. Someone was anonymously donating a mattress, box spring, sheet set, and comforter set to me. ME. As in, this is my real life, where people are that generous and God loves me that much.

So we brought it in, and I'm pretty sure I stammered a lot and made a lot of weird I'm-not-gonna-cry faces. I gave Natalie and her mom a hug, and watched them leave.

And then I burst into tears.

I'm not gonna lie, people, parts of my life are really hard right now. I've never been in a financial situation like this. I'm doing my best to be independent and take care of myself, but having to buy only bare essentials can be pretty scary for someone who has always lived in so much comfort. And as mentioned yesterday, the worst part about it is that it really limits how much giving I can do.

But this experience was like my sacrifice had been found acceptable by the Lord. The susurration and crinkle of brand new sheets, the distantly familiar creak of a real was a message from the Lord. Although it's a simple fact that these difficulties are not going to go away for a while, Heavenly Father knows how hard I am trying. Both to make this situation work in a temporal, logistical sense, and also to become a better person via this experience. He sees the sacrifice, and to Him, that is enough.

Whoever it was that was an instrument in His hands yesterday (including Natalie and her mom!) ... I don't know what else to say but thank you. I so appreciate that you would listen to the Spirit and reallocate some of your resources in order to help me when I have little. I pray, so fervently, that you will be blessed for your generosity. Thank you for your part in giving me Christmas. 

Thank you for, in part, giving me Christ.


  1. I'm lucky to be related to such a big hearted woman as you.

  2. My dearest sara! how grateful and blessed I am to have you as a roommate! I have enjoyed every minute of having you in the house!!! You gave me an opportunity to assist the Lord. Yesterday as my mom and I left she looked at me and said "how do you feel" and I felt like I did the day I received my violin! You are absolutely incredible!!! Once again I thank you for the opportunity you gave me yesterday!! :)
    Sweet dreams :)

  3. Ooooh, "susurration"! I love the way you write, Slordie. I'm glad someone was there to help you out when others can't be. I miss your beautiful guts.