Thursday, September 6, 2012

part one: acclimating

I love my little home already. I love the way we have just enough furniture for the space, the way the counter never seems to unclutter (it proves that real people live here!) and the sweet, restful silence that reminds me of the temple.

In the last few weeks, I have worked my bum off to get us settled. Every day has been a competition, to see if I can get more done than I did the day before. Then, seemingly all at once, we found a routine, a comfortable rhythm to our lives that demonstrated -- even before I realized it -- that we are moved in, and this is home. More than couches and towels and dishes, this little apartment holds our love. You can smell it in the clean laundry, ready to be put away, or see it in the flowers on the table that Chris bought for me, just because. You can hear it in the hum of the dishwasher or feel it in the crisp warmth of the bed that Chris made for me this morning.

More than that, you can just sense it in the air. The Spirit is in our home.

And yet, in the last couple of days, I've felt a little lost. Sometimes it's a little too quiet, or I get a little too lonesome. I've asked myself over and over, "Sara, why isn't this enough?"

The fact is, it's more than enough, and I'm not quite sure what to do with that! It's a slower pace than my life has ever been before. The primary responsibility of my life right now is to be happy, and peaceful, and share that delighted serenity with others, particularly Chris. I don't have to scurry, to scramble, to carry out my life with frenetic energy that leads to anxiety more often than not anyway.

You're probably familiar with President Hinckley's quote, about life being a ho-hum train ride with few impressive vistas and a lot of smoke. I'm fine with that...mostly I think it's that I've been huffing and puffing to catch a train, and I finally made it aboard. It takes some transition to slow down, to stop running and look around. To realize I'm on the train safely and don't need to run up and down the aisles, too.

That's an awfully nice change.

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