Tuesday, September 18, 2012


Chris and I sat at the table yesterday morning, spooning breakfast into our sleepy mouths. Our calendar sat in front of us, as we'd neglected to hang it again after attempting to plan our week the evening before. My eyes skimmed it lazily for a moment.

"Oh man!" I yelped. "I'm turning 25 next week!"

"OLD," Chris responded.

I laughed. "I know, right?" I took another bite of yogurt. "You know...I think if this year had gone differently, I think I would have sat down and cried."

Deep gratitude, never far away from my awareness these days, bubbled up from beneath the surface of my heart. This year, I will celebrate my 25th birthday by building a blanket fort with my husband. Not playing rowdy party games with my single friends, who are just as clueless as I am about how to get what we really want most.

I spent so many days with that lonesome, habitual ache, the one that kept me up at night, begging the Lord to tell me why I wasn't married yet, wasn't even dating. What I was doing wrong. The emptiness of those unanswered questions, or rather the memory of it, is still fresh.

After breakfast, I went to my laptop on the counter, and pulled up this song. As it played and I sang along, Chris' arm appeared around my waist. He softly kissed my temple, and I closed my eyes, two or three tears spilling over.

Once, I believed that God comforts us, teaches us, and brings our most precious, deeply-felt dreams to fruition.

But now, I know.


  1. Having just experienced it a few weeks ago, I can tell you that celebrating a birthday shortly after receiving the dream you've been desperate for for years on end is really, really amazing. I think this birthday is one I'll always remember - it just felt so doubly sweet because, well, I had the best birthday present EVER!

    Oh, and I had to laugh at Chris's "old" quip, since we've got the opposite thing going on in our marriage... this year, I turned as old as Mahon turned when we were dating... 5 years ago! LOL.

  2. (And I should add that it made me giggle because do you remember how OLD you and I thought he was????)

  3. :) Yeah, I bet you'd relate to the feeling better than most, huh?! :) :) And LOL, YES, I do remember going "but omg, Cindy, he's TWENTY-FIVE!!!!"

    Good thing you didn't let that stop you. ;)

  4. I know. When I turned 23 last year, it was sort of a shock to go, woah, that's how old Mahon was when we first met! AND IT SEEMED SO ANCIENT!!! Bahahaha. He'll be 30 next year!

  5. * TWENTY-THREE!!!!


    ...When you met him, he was ALMOST in his MID-TWENTIES. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

    Funny how time allows you some perspective. ;)