Wednesday, September 26, 2012

charity 101

"Sometimes I write. I'm trying to do a lot better about that these days. I blog about every other day now, and I'm working on a story right now."

"Yeah?" My new friend sounded excited, so I went on.

"Yeah. I haven't done anything with it in years though. I decided a long time ago that I needed to know what it was like to fall in love for keeps first, so I could have the experience to draw on." I paused, smiled. "Now I know."

Her eyes filled with warmth. "What's it like?"

"Well, first, let me say that, in our religion, we believe that marriage is forever. None of this 'til death do you part' stuff, so long as we are sealed under the proper authority and we let our sincere love of Christ truly guide our actions."

She nodded. We had talked about the priesthood before.

I gently touched my ring. "That said, I don't know what eternity means. Not with my mortal mind and experience. But I'm excited to spend the rest of my life finding out, with Chris. He's really my rock. He's steady and laid-back and sweet and patient. And he loves that I'm genuine and enthusiastic. I couldn't ask for any better than him."


Sometimes I say things like that, and then, never very long after, I realize just how sure of that I am.

I got pretty ticked off at Chris this morning. (Yes, believe it or not, even perfect-for-each-other newlyweds do that, too.) It was irrational, and I know that. But that didn't change how I felt in the moment. The waspish words did not escape my lips, but nonetheless left a prickly trail of irritation in my wake as I disappeared into the kitchen.

Chris followed after a moment and stood behind me, just waiting. I turned away from the stove to face him, though I wouldn't meet his eyes. And then his arms were around me.

What kind of guy treats a girl that good?

I'm ashamed of myself for how quickly I forget how wonderful this man is. He really is trying his best to give me what I need, and to show how grateful he is for what I give. Moments like this morning show me starkly that yes, this marriage will work, but it definitely won't be just because of me.

It will be because of Chris, just trying to be like Christ, even when I'm not. Chris, telling me to take a deep breath, though I'm tired of trying to be nice to him. Chris, forgiving me when I realize what a punk I am.

He held my hand the whole way to school like he loves me as much as ever, if not more for the exercise in charity.

What kind of guy treats a girl that good? The Savior. And my husband. That's who.

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