Friday, January 4, 2008

Little Wonders

When I'm trying really hard to be happy, and it's really mostly working, I remember something.

Being happy is a whole lot of WORK.


Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder.

I remember that it doesn't come naturally to allow things I can't control to be in God's hands, and that finding something good to think about (instead of overthinking something else that's less-than-good) requires so much forethought and persistence.

Don't you know the hardest part is over?

I have to remind myself that if I am taking the time to be happy, it is because I have the capacity -- emotionally, mentally, spiritually -- not to mention the time to focus to being close to the Lord, and that's not often the case. Putting in this much effort into something this important is worth it.

Let it in, let your clarity define you.

These are the times when I know myself best, after all, and that's because I know the Lord better than I do at more cluttered seasons of my life. I realized the other day that I have a response, founded on gospel principles and personal revelation, to every major issue I have with myself (that I can think of off the top, anyway -- let's be realistic here!) If that's not God-given clarity, I don't know what is. Now of course I may have a response to my "Big Issues," but what makes being happy so much work is applying them, over and over again, and not deciding that it's easier to be miserable.

In the end, we will only just remember how it feels.

With progress and time, however, all of this work to be connected to the Lord, with His grace, will change me as a person into what I want to be. I'll always be me, I know that. Some things will never change because they're simply a part of who I am. But if I let Him, God can and will make me what I have always been: His.

Our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate.

Doing small things all the time is the only way I know of to make that happen, and He absolutely blesses me for that.

Time falls away, but these small hours still remain.

Because, as difficult as it is, I AM happy. I DO find joy day to day. I see the hand of the Lord in my life and although life isn't always fun, it IS worthwhile and a beautiful, blessed thing, and I live in awe of His love.


Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you.
Let it shine,
until you feel it all around you.
And I don't mind if it's me you need to turn to; we'll get by.
It's the heart that really matters in the end.
All of my regret will wash away somehow, but I cannot forget the way I feel right now, in these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate.
Time falls away, but these small hours, these little wonders, still remain.

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